c K cheng . . .

He Said She Said

Jan 16, 2004 - Should You Let your Sig Other Dress You? ckcheng: Man.. you know ... sometimes, you and your girl just disagree. You disagree on pizza toppings, tv shows to watch, and how bad you need to go on a diet. But there's one thing that seems to really just bug women: when their men dress retarded. Lets face it guys, sometimes we're color blind. Heck.. forget sometimes... most of the times, we'd be lost shopping for clothes if there weren't manicans with prematched clothing on fake people. So this, of course, begs the question, should a man submit himself to being dressed by his significant other? Now I've never had a girlfriend so I'm not sure how it would be, but somehow, I find the idea of my hypothetical girlfriend telling me what clothes I should put on is mildly insulting. Its like.. frick... I wanna wear this UGLY NASTY SWEATER DAMNIT! And there's NOTHING you can do to stop me! I know that this is clearly irrational behavior. I mean heck.. even I know that ugly sweater should have been burried in the 80s and never ressurected but darnit... I've worn it for two decades... a couple more years wont hurt. So the real question is where us men should draw the line about when to let your woman dress you. The way I figure it, its gotta be like this. To start with, your wardrobe is limited. If she wants you to wear stuff thats already in your wardrobe, thats a pretty easy compromise, cuz well... you bought it. You should be pretty pleased with your own purchases (assuming you didn't get nasty hand-me-downs from your relatives). In this case, I think I could acquiesce and let her pick and choose what I should and should not be wearing. The area which is more touchy is when you're purchasing new clothes and she's in the immediate vicinity, like with a death grip on your arm preventing from selecting the items you want. In this situation, I believe we have a couple options. 1) buy the clothes you want and let her roll her eyes at you in disgust. 2) buy the clothes you want AND the clothes she wants you to buy 3) buy the clothes you want and have HER buy the clothes she wants you to wear. 4) let her buy the clothes she wants you to wear. Given these options, I would rank them this way: 4) Hey can't argue with free clothing, she wants to buy it for you, then I can't argue... she wanted me to wear those clothes so bad she was willing to shell out for it. Thats just fine with me. 3) If I gotta have a couple items she hates, well... we can compromise by getting the stuff she wants too as long as she's okay with buying. 1) She'll eventually get over it. Its just clothes right? 2) This is by far the worst option. I will not buy clothes that I absolutely hate. Notice of course that ME buying BOTH sets of clothing is THE WORST. Gosh.. I already bought the stuff i want... If i have to wear something against my will, i think it'd be the ultimate insult if I had to pay for it also. You women out there: The real way to do this, is to TRAIN you man to have better taste, not by making him buy things, but rather by pointing out outfits on manicans which you think are nice and finding which items you like and he likes. Try changing his taste rather than forcing him to wearing stuff he detests. It'll just create strife between you... and if that doesn't work and you're embarassed with his gawdy nasty jacket, you better be willing to put down some cash to get some nicer clothes for him, cuz its just not fair to make him foot the bill. He's already happy with what he's got, its the girlfriend (you) who's got issues. Female Guest: well, sometimes guys just won't listen. I have a friend who loves a particular shade of blue that is completely disagreeable with his skin tone. It hurts when he tries it on, because it just washes out his skin tone and makes him look sickly. Tried to warn him, did he listen? noooOOooooOoo. lucky for him, it was a peer shopping trip. There were a few other friends to back me up, so he was kept for committing a fashion atrocity for that time. So sometimes it's good to hear your friends out =P Comments(4) Aug 11, 2002 - Would you sign the pre-nup? ckcheng: I'm guessing its still early for me to be thinking about these things, but the topic came up again a couple days ago. The question was, would you want to sign a pre-nuptial agreement with your spouse? To be honest, I'm a little bit too much of an idealist to ever want to sign one of these. A pre-nup basically starts the marriage off on a bad note. Its a mark of doubt, that it might not work. You don't need a safety net unless there's a risk right? Signing the pre-nuptial agreement is like putting up a safety net on your marriage failing. So I guess its not a bad idea in theory, but what it does is it makes the marriage cheaper. There's less investment in the other person, not only financially, but in other aspects too. You're signing a get away free card. In my opinion, when you marry, you're married for life. Or something close to it. Divorces SHOULD be difficult, and having a prenuptial agreement makes divorces easy. That being said, I can understand why the person with the larger income or larger set of assets might want to sign a prenuptial agreement. Why lose your money over a spouse that might cheat on you and do all sorts of bad things. Maybe you two will have a disagreement on something that is non-negotiable. Alright... thats possible, but its a terrible way to look at a marriage. Why try to second guess what your wife or husband might do? Its such a pessimistic way of entering the relationship. Well, the one thing that I feel was immutable was that a divorce is rarely helpful for the children. It might not be detrimental, but almost always, a healthy family makes for healthy kids. I was surprised to find out that some people disagreed with me. One person said to me that if the parents fought every day infront of the children, then the child might be happier seeing the two separated. I would say this might be true, but isn't it more likely that the kid would like to see his parents happy together? Anyways, I just want to see what people think about this. Sign the prenup and make a divorce less hassle while sacrificing absolute trust in your spouse for financial security? Or forget the prenup and risk your financial assets as an investment in a relationship? Female Guest: I need a girl to respond to this Comments(17) Jun 22, 2002 - Is it bad for guys to check out girls passing by? ckcheng: I was with a friend yesterday and we were at 99 Ranch getting pearl tea. My friend is female and we're meeting a guy there. While we're there, myself and the other guy check out a couple of females walking buy. So the female friend gets all offended! I was like.. whoa.. dude.. this is part of being a guy man. Is it really so bad? I mean seriously, I'm sure girls check out guys. Double standard man.. double standard. Besides.. its not like I followed her home or something... she was walking by and I glanced. Female Guest: okay... first off, guys need to learn a thing or two about girls. when you are out with a girl, regardless if she's a friend or gf, she'll want your attention. and she definitely doesn't wanna share your attention with other girls. come on, you are hanging out with her. girls get jealous about those things.. like why are you paying attention to some random girl, when you can't even pay enough attention to them? the least you can do is pay attention to her and the people you are kickin it with. if you wanna check out girls, kick it with a bunch of single guys. but if you don't want your female friend to get offended, chill on the checking out of other girls while with girls. it is true that girls check out guys, but if you haven't noticed, girls hella check out other girls also. its just our nature to see other girls and compare. so its not really a double standard. -Jannet Comments(28) Apr 1, 2002 - The Meaning Of Hanging Up ckcheng: For all of you single men out there, I've recently made a discovery!! As it turns out, if you are in a relationship with a girl, and you have an argument over the phone AND she hangs up on you in the middle of the conversation, YOU are supposed to CALL HER BACK! Now sit back and think about this for a moment... What are the facts of this situation? Let me list what I think are the relevant ones: 1. Communication was occuring at some level PRIOR to her hanging up. 2. SHE halted communication by hanging up. From this, I would like to make the proposition that since hanging up effectly cuts off communication, AND since it was SHE who initiated this, it is a logical assumption that she DESIRES the lack of communication. Given this, if the girl desires no communcation, then it seems to follow that the man should NOT call back. For this would be AGAINST her will which we have established to be NO communcation. As far as I can tell, this is what "hanging up" SHOULD mean, but the I've heard girls see it is different. From a girl's perspective, I believe she just wants to DEMONSTRATE her anger by IGNORING you. You see, the act of hanging up is not to stop communication, but rather is done to SPITE the male. To show him that SHE has control and doesn't HAFTA talk to the male. (Of course, this is NOT control and she merely deludes herself) Now, the key is, she is testing the male to see if he desires her enough to call back. Thus, she is angry when the man does not call back because it tells her that he does NOT need her enough to call back immediately. Conclusion? Heck if I know... seems to me that girls are just too complicated. cristyne: NO! If a girl hangs up on you - do NOT call her back. First, at least to my knowledge (and this is true for me, too), a girl hanging up on you means that she does not want to speak to you at that particular moment. It's most likely because she's aware that she'll say things that she'll regret later, or perhaps she's aware that you'll probably say things that you'll regret later - but the point is that you both are in a state of mind in which it is counterproductive to talk to each other and try to work things out. Now let's assume for a second that she actually DOES want you to call back. Don't do it! Giving in is a sign of a sucker. Don't be a tool! Don't be whipped into submission by giving in to her silly little games. Hanging up on someone is pretty rude - don't give her the knowledge that you'll let her get away with it - she'll start walking all over you! Comments(11) Mar 19, 2002 - Girls tell me too much info ckcheng: Why is that girls always tell you more than you want to hear? I mean.. check this out. I'm talking to a good friend of mine.. and suddenly she tells me about what a "papsmear" is. Evidently, its what they do to girls when they turn 18 for hygiene purposes. So.. anyways... my friend proceeds to tell me how they stick a probe into who knows where and scrapes some skin off the ... umm... part.. of their body.. and anyways. its really really too much information. Why is it that girls find it SO important that they tell us this?! Or how about stuff like.. "*so and so* is not a virgin anymore... " i'm like.. DUDE... i don't need to hear that anymore.... and i really don't wanna hear about that stuff or like... anyways... why is it that girls say that stuff to guys? We CLEARLY aren't prepared for that type of information... you hafta break us in SLOW! cristyne: I don't like talking about that stuff either. But I've been asked by guys about all that stuff before - so um...... yeah. Some guys are just more curious than others, and some girls are more discreet than others. I think guys SHOULD know about all this stuff - I mean, it's only natural. You should know what your S/O goes through! But I don't want to be the person to educate you all. =) Read the internet instead of asking me! And about gossip - well, yeah, guys gossip with the best of the girls, and you know it! Most of the gossip I hear these days is FROM guys! You know, locker room type of talk and stuff? Comments(10) Mar 19, 2002 - Girls = Evil, Guys = Good ckcheng: Evidently, there's a paper in the Anthro 3 Reader at Berkeley which explains why men are good and women are evil. The problem is, I can't really get my hands on the paper and I don't feel like buying the reader. Soooo.... if any of you can get it for me, please, let me know... I'll pay for the copies or do them myself or something. Then i'll type it up and put it on the page. Its just one more way to prove my hypothesis: Men are dumb and women are evil. cristyne: I can't even begin to reply to that! Haha. Let me know when you get your hands on it. I'd like to read that msyelf! Comments(4) Mar 18, 2002 - Girls have funky taste ckcheng: Have you ever been in a room full of mixed company.. and severl girls there are discussing a supposedly HOT guy.. and like.. there's always this HUGE difference among the girls in who's supposedly hot? It always happens. I don't know why. In general, most guys will think a hot girl is hot. Some might think she's only super hot, will others will say she's UBER hot. But either way.. she's hot. For girls.. it varies.. a guy can be SUPER DUPER hot to one girl.. but SUPER UGLY to another girl! Whats up with that?? ------------------- response: The question isn't really about personality. Its like... a picture of a guy in a magazine whom they've NEVER met. They have VASTLY differing tastes. In situations like that.. its hard for a girl to be any less shallow than a guy checking out some girl. My point is that the female opinion varies a lot more than a guys. cristyne: Wasn't it you who was just complaining a few weeks ago that your own taste in girls never seemed to match up with other guys? =) Personally, I think it's good that girls all have differing tastes on what's hot and what's not. Not only does it give greater hope to all guys (no matter what you look like, SOMEONE out there will find you hot! ;P), but also, it shows that we have individual tastes and won't be swayed by popular opinion when it comes to finding a guy hot. I actually think it has something to do with the way that generall, females tend to look more at personality than guys do when looking for a SO. I mean, you always see HOT girls with so-so guys, but you never see HOT guys with a so-so girl. Personality makes more a difference IN GENERAL to girls, so oftentimes, what she finds hot is a mixture of both physically attractiveness AND personality. Comments(3) Mar 12, 2002 - Why do like 80% of all guys' fantasies..... ckcheng: In response to christine: Threesomes... geez.. thats a tough one. I guess the carnal man likes women right? Woman == good. Or atleast pleasurable. So i guess if you figure... "w00t baby.. i got 2... i'm the man" it does 2 things. 1) You got MAD ego stroking right there... and you KNOW guy's love their egos and 2) You figure 2 girls can make you feel better than 1 right? Gosh.. I can't believe I'm talking about this. I'm only writing this cuz christine wrote her part first. Geez.. I'm not into this three-action. cristyne: involve a threesome? What exactly is so erotic about two girls on a guy? Or two girls with each other? I don't get it. Isn't one girl enough?! Explain, Kelly. And have fun while doing so, please. Comments(4) Mar 8, 2002 - Whats the deal with "Chivalry" ckcheng: I've often said that with the desire for "equal rights" men are left not knowing if chivalry is ever appropriate. Lemme give you an example. You're in a group. Some of them are girls.. some of them are guys. You'are the front of the group and you want to open the door because its the logical and NICE thing to do. Some girl decides to blow a fuse and gives you a lecture how she is JUST as capable as a man to hold a door open. WHAT IS THAT? Seriously... this is what I think. You have two options: 1) Women can have the right to vote and do all the things men can do or 2) Women can ask for chivalry. Frankly.. chivalry was a device for showing appreciation for women SINCE THEY WEREN'T ALLOWED the rights of men. Now if women want everything men want.. then here's something that should happen: guys should get ANNOYED when on a date and the girl doesn't try to pay. Why? EQUAL RIGHTS! Shoot... you can't have it both ways. Girls want chivalry AND all the priviledges of "equality." Well.. at this point, what they're asking for is MORE than equality. Its rights + benefits. -------------- In response: Chivalry is inherently one-sided. Thus, it is expected of a guy, and not a woman. THIS is why you can't have it both ways. Because equal priveledges implies equal ability. Chivalry assumes one party lacks ability. Therefore, to demand chivalry AND equal rights is asking for a contradiction. cristyne: Bah! If the girl blows a fuse at you for opening the door for her, she has issues that goes beyond gender. I can't explain that, nor do I think that's a common trait - I think she's just got issues. She's probably flirting with you in a twisted way, using anger as an excuse to talk to you! Hahahah. After some quick google research ("origin of chivalry"), I have found that most tripod websites (hahah!) agree with me in that chivalry had nothing to do with females not having the same rights as men. Chivalry is the defense of the weak, both female and male. So sure, if there's a woman out there who thinks she's stronger than you, she shouldn't expect any sort of chivalrous deeds! I don't mind guys opening my doors. I'll be the first to admit that most guys over the age of 18 are physically stronger than me. But I open doors for other people too. I pay my own meals, and oftentimes take out my friends, male or female both. We SHOULD be able to have both. Your options are not mutually exclusive. Equality in terms of rights is required. That is not debatable. Chivalry? I'm just asking a guy to do for me what I would do for him, which I *do* do for him. I think whoever is in the more advantageous state should always help the weaker. Don't you think so? The richer should help the poorer (pay for dinner!). The one closer to the door should open the door for the one who's further away. Defend my honor? And why not? If it were a girl harrassing my guy friend, I'd step up! But if it's a guy - my guy better get on his case! Comments(9) Mar 6, 2002 - Why do guys crumble for a girl? ckcheng: I see that christine has tactfully stated that guys are easily maniuplated by a pretty face. She has also cleverly insinuated that this is not the case for women. BUT THIS IS NOT TRUE! Don't believe their lies! Women become a pile of much infront of good looking guys too. I've seen it... we all have. Its not like guys becoming spineless is unique to guys. Girls become little nodding dodo's also! C'mon now... How many female friends do you know that treat you like watever (in a friendly way) but when the "cute (or gay... watever)" guy comes to talk to them.. they become all attentive and stuff. Shoot... I can name an EXACT situation involving my roomate. My roomate is a guy. He has a friend. His friend is a girl. They are in physics together. GSI is supposedly a cute guy. Girl doesn't bother talking to roomate... but she DOES talk incessantly with the GSI... asking him questions about things THAT MY ROOMATE COULD EXPLAIN TO HER! All she does is nod and do that... "Oh.. i don't get it.. could you explain it again look." A parting word... if you want a boyfriend with a spine? DON'T WHIP HIM. Man... if you whip him.. he wont have a spine! that simple. cristyne: So what about guys? Guys, who insist on saving face, at any cost? Can't just let things go, must get the last word in always? Constantly picking arguments, can't just agree to disagree.....Until Miss China Chow or some other girls walks into your lives, and then you turn into the biggest sucker! DAMN YOU GUYS! Get a clue! Stand up for yourselves! Don't apologize for something you didn't do! Here's a clue, too: girls are generally attracted to guys who are more dominant in a relationship. ----------------- Rant response: Hm. You think girls can be whipped by guys? Sniff, it's true, unfortunately. I often have to yell at girls whose knees get weak when a particular guy walks in. Lemme rephrase then. I have issues with ALL people who do that (including myself!), regardless of gender. =) Guys and girls alike, should stand up for themselves. But hey! We don't whip you into shape! The whipped person BENDS OVER and HANDS the whip to the dominant one! We all need to stop playing with the whip! That's my two cents on this one. =) Just burn the whip! Comments(19) Mar 5, 2002 - This I got from a friend ckcheng: A friend sent this to me: Subject: Men are like.......... Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like.....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough. Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest. Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change them. Men are like.....Blenders You need one, but you're not quite sure why. Men are like.....Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. Men are like.....Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your thighs Men are like.....Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long. Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say. Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes are always half off. Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature. Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like.....Snowstorms. You never know they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. Men are like.....Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright. Alright then... this is what i hafta say about that. First of all, lets face it. Girls irritate guys just about as much as guys irritate girls. And to be even more blunt... guys irritate girls because we make sense. Girls irritate guys because they DON'T make sense. Now then.. COME ON! Guys are RATIONAL BEINGS! Getting irritated at guys for being rational is just ... well.. its just st00pid! As for men changing for women, it happens.. it happens a LOT. Shoot... what do you think they refer to as the "whipping." Men are whipped in the relationship. Now then.. if we didn't change.. HOW is it possible that we have BECOME whipped? Becoming IMPLES change. Why do you have men? TO USE THEIR MONEY. c'mon man.. geez... to all you independent women out there? kudos. For the vast majority of women? Don't complain dude! You know you would use our money! our time! Man.. this is FURTHER shown in the one regarding COFEE -- "rich, warm..." RICH! YOU SEE THAT!! I WIN! Guys don't lie as much as you think. i admit we're stupid so when we THINK we're telling you the ABSOLUTE TRUTH, we're actually way off the mark. Heck.. we don't even know our own emotions. Heck... I don't know if "we're just friends." Shoot.. I don't even know if I'm happy or sad right now. The one that REALLY gets me is the horoscope one. It says guys tell girls to do stuff and we're usually wrong. WE'RE WRONG?! Dude.. i'm sorry man... when i BS an answer... I've found i'm typically right. And for the most part, i don't BS answers... I'll tell you if i know or not. Geez.. I dunno where girls get these things. I think they just impose their own insecurities onto guys? All the other comments are pretty .... umm.. physical in nature... I'll let you guys talk about those on the forums cristyne: Hahahahaha. Awwwww, come on. Can't girls make fun of guys in good faith? =) Agreed, girls irritate guys as much as guys irritate girls. But not because we don't make sense! We make perfect sense. Girls always consult other men AND other women when they're frustrated with their significant other. The guy friends usually also give the same advice as the women! And they're not gay, either. We do NOT get annoyed with guys for being rational! Fights come from lying, cheating, hiding, rude behavior......in both directions! Men changing for women..... It doesn't happen! Not truly! I don't think girls really change for men, either though. I don't think anyone should EXPECT anyone to change in fundamental ways - if you feel the need to change your S/O's personality, chances are, that person isn't right for you anyway. As for breaking habits - well, show me a guy who can ALWAYS put the toilet seat down after he's down with his business! Men get whipped. Women too - but they don't really change. Once the couple breaks up, both individuals will spring right back into their former selves. They were only "pretending" to change. But you can't change your true personality in a matter of a few months, or even years! I can't stand girls who leech off their boyfriends. I think that's one of the most sickening things to ever see. And it's true, unfortunately, most girls do it. =( I can't deny it. Once in a long while, though, you'll meet an untraditional girl who actually offers to pay for dinner. I don't understand why guys let girls tool them like that anyway though. Guys gotta have some more balls and put their foot down =) Guys lie. They don't know what's important in an argument. Their priorities on truth is whack. You could be having an argument about him going out to have dinner with an ex girlfriend, and the guy will bring up YOUR ex boyfriend, whom you haven't talked to in 5 years. What's up with that?! Get your priorities straight! We're talking about YOU here! Comments(2) The Rant Archive